It’s been four years since I stepped out of that limo and even looking back on it now it still feels like a dream. Did that really even happen? Only 23 years old, I was so naïve about what was to come. With the re-airing of past seasons on ABC’s newest show, The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons – Ever!, I’m flooded with so many memories from filming Season 20 of The Bachelor and feeling very grateful for what the show taught me about myself. Thank you to those of you who have been here since the beginning and to all of the new faces – welcome 🥰. As a little trip down memory lane, thought I would share some personal behind-the-scenes moments that might make you laugh… because you better believe back in 2016 we had some laughs filming it.

5 Bachelor Behind-The-Scenes Stories

1. You Will Never Guess Which Girl Intimidated Me Most Out of the Limo on Night One

   Even though I pulled up in the limo sitting next to two beauties like Lauren Bushnell and Amanda Stanton, they were so sweet and disarming that I quickly felt like I could be friends with them night one. Never feeling nerves like this in my entire life, I couldn’t help but take a big gulp of champagne and remind myself to be present & to silence the inner voice that wants to compare you to every stunning beauty in the room.

   Just like the 30 women that waited inside, The Bachelor Mansion was looking it’s absolute best after the driveway was hosed down with water so it would glitter in the night and all of the bushes adorned in fake roses so they looked in full bloom for camera. It wasn’t until I stepped inside and met all of the single ladies that I really felt the magnitude of what I signed up for. Looking around the room full of drop-dead-gorgeous, accomplished women, the one who intimidated me the most was Leah Block in a silver crystal floor-length gown. She just seemed so cool and such a “guy’s-girl” as she held a football under her arm after her limo entrance and knew every fact about the Denver Broncos. After getting to know her more – I was right, she is totally someone who can hold her own hanging with the guys, and also turned out to be as sweet as can be.

   

2. Filling Our Time in the House

   We weren’t allowed many activities while in the mansion – no books, TV, games, internet, etc. So, there were limited options for how we could spend our time. We spent most of our days in the mansion either enjoying the sun by the pool or painting each other’s nails. I even remember there was one day where I painted my nails THREE times just to pass the time by. Luckily I had a hot tub date with Kevin Hart the next day, so you know my nails were looking good. 😂

   

3. Jojo’s Suitcase Fiasco

   Each woman on the show was only allowed to bring two large suitcases for the entire three months of filming. Squeezing your entire life into two suitcases and not being sure what kind of weather, activities, dates you’d be going on is a harder task than you think –  believe me!

   Our first international travel destination was historic Mexico City. After our plane landed we all collected our luggage from the baggage claim.. well that is except for one of us. Sadly Jojo’s suitcase never arrived at first, so we waited and waited. But little did we know, her suitcase had arrived just not how we expected. When we finally saw her poor suitcase come around the corner of the conveyer belt it had exploded and had clothes half coming out of its mouth. I felt so bad for Jojo as they tried to put all of her clothes in a life-size plastic bag, but the zipper had ripped in half during its travels. Jojo took it like a champ and we all had a good laugh about the whole thing.

   

4. When I thought A Dead Animal Got In Our Hotel Room

   I was in bed while visiting Ben’s hometown of Warsaw, Indiana when I looked to my left and thought an animal had gotten into the hotel room. I screamed inside and hopped out of bed, before realizing it was one of Becca Tilly’s clip-in extensions! Becca was so sweet not to laugh too hard at me and calming my nerves by assuring me it wouldn’t bite 😂 I looked almost as scared as our Bahamas group date, as the girls got attacked on the island of pigs. I still have Becca to thank for teaching me so many beauty tips on our season, like the life-changer that is dry shampoo 🙌

   

5. That Time I Stripped Off My Clothes in Las Vegas

   While in Las Vegas, there was a week in which I didn’t have a date. When this happens, the producers keep you under lock and key in the hotel room to prevent any possible spoilers or pictures from getting out to the public. I wasn’t allowed out of the hotel room all week and lived vicariously through the people I watched through the window below, making up stories for each group of tourists lounging by the pool. Of course, we were in an epic suite on the top floor of the Aria Resort & Casino, so I had some beautiful views to keep me company. But still, I couldn’t help but envy the rest of the girls out on dates as we could see them from our window – hopping on helicopters or slipping into vintage Vegas wedding dresses.

   By the time the rose ceremony arrived, I was just thrilled to get some fresh air and be outside. We found our way to Chris Harrison standing on top of a clear glass stage built on top of a pool. You could see the water dancing below your heels as we patiently waited & hoped for one of the thornless roses that evening. One after another names were called as women collected their petaled prizes and we could all breathe a sigh of relief. But I needed more than just a rose to get relief after being cooped up all of that time. Filming had finished at midnight and the remaining women were all just sitting by the pool, so I spontaneously stripped of my sequined dress and dove in for a swim. I didn’t care that I was swimming alone or seemed like a nut, that water felt so freeing and it was totally worth the sopping wet walk back to the suite.

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A Little Moment of Reflection

I’ve done a lot of reflecting since those three months of filming The Bachelor, I wish I could go to my 23-year-old self and give her a hug. I was so young and thought I knew everything about love. But boy, did I have so much more to learn. I watched my tears back after being broken up with and feel both – proud of the girl that got out of the car to ask questions for closure and also -dumbfounded at how naïve I was for not seeing it coming.

Honestly, if there was anything I could change about myself during the show – I wish I would’ve just chilled out and enjoyed the ride a little more. I was so buttoned up and overthinking the whole experience, it took away from me making more genuine friendships and having plain old fun.

Looking back, I see I was constantly concerned with how to portray the best version of myself and it held me back. I wish I had that extra glass of wine with the girls on the beach in the Bahamas or ordered those late-night Chick-Fil-A waffle fries on the bus.

I overthought things to the point that it hindered me from having fun and enjoying all that this experience had to offer. Watching myself back on screen during The Bachelor: Greatest Seasons Ever reminds me to take a deep breath & enjoy the journey, not just think about the destination. From the bottom of my heart, I truly am eternally grateful to the show for what it’s taught me and the life it’s led me to. Although I can’t rewind time as easily as this recording of The Bachelor, I’m promising myself the future holds more “hair down” strip your clothes off and jump in the pool moments. 💛

p.s. Tonight’s episode is Nick’s big Bachelor debut! This is the most exciting part of this reunion episode for me because I get to officially share the man I love with all of you. He was unbelievably supportive and bonded with Harrison a bit during our 20 minute interview chat. I think only about 3 minutes total will air, but it means a lot to share a part of my past with him, since he is my future.