5 Ways to Make Friends in a New City

Change isn’t always easy, especially moving. Between finding the right place to live, getting all your belongings there, and navigating a new city, it can be overwhelming! Now that Nick and I have been in Austin, TX for a few weeks, I feel like I can breathe again. As I start to settle in, I’ve come across the next challenge my big move brings — making new friends. There are so many things I loved and miss about my life in NYC, the biggest of which being my friends. I formed deep friendships with so many amazing people over my five years in the Big Apple and have been thinking of how to go about doing the same in my new home base. For all of you who are also making a big move or just looking to make some new friends as an adult, I feel you! At risk of sounding cheesy, the best way to make friends in a new city is to put yourself out there. It is super daunting to make yourself vulnerable like this but I promise you, it works. 

SHOP THE LOOK

Story time in case you need proof putting yourself out there works: I was out to dinner with Nick at a trendy Austin restaurant, Tilly’s. A few tables down, there was a group of 5 or 6 women in chic outfits laughing, drinking cocktails, and having a fun time. They reminded me of my friends enjoying a night out on the town and I knew I wanted to meet them. I was really nervous, but went up to them and said, “I hope I’m not interrupting but I just moved here and am trying to get to know neighborhoods. Do any of you have some that you recommend for when we go house hunting?” That little intro led to one of the girls at the table giving me her number. We went for coffee and a hike that following week! I don’t know if it was the security of having Nick nearby or if it was my second margarita talking, but I’m so happy that I went outside my comfort zone because it led to me making my first new friend.

5 Tips for Making Friends in a New City

1. Use Your Network

Remember, you meet people through people. Before your move, reach out to family, friends, coworkers, etc. to see if they know of anyone who lives around the area. Many times a conversation about your new city sparks a reminder that your cousin’s friend’s sister also lives there. For example, I have an aunt who introduced me to her niece on the other side of the family, and Nick’s coworker introduced us to his old neighbor. There’s no pressure to stay friends forever but it’s so nice to have a nice welcome to your new home. They’ll have some insight to good coffee shops, fun bars, and nice neighborhoods, too. 

2. Try Local Activities

Volunteer, join a soccer league, take a Mandarin class, or take up paddle-boarding! Trying a fun activity is a great way to find friends who have something in common. Having an activity to focus on gives you things to talk about if you’re nervous about starting conversations. Once you bond about your soccer team’s strategies to win the next game or your volunteer group’s upcoming charity event, you’ll get more comfortable and take the friendship to the next level.

3. Check Out Local Hot Spots

I love to get to know a new city by starting with all the touristy spots. What draws people to the city? What makes your city fun and unique enough that travelers want to come check it out? One way to do this is by searching the hashtags on Instagrams, like #austinrestaurants, and scrolling through the pictures. I also like looking up Conde Nast’s top ten restaurants in that city and try one of them once a week. It’s a fun way to strike up a conversation with a new local friend because you can talk about your list of restaurants you want to check out and need a dining partner for! 

4. Make Working Out Social 

One of the biggest things that will make you feel settled in a new city is having a routine. To me, having a weekly work out class creates consistency that we all crave plus is fun. Whether pilates is your jam or you’re more of a kickboxing person, you’ll start to see familiar faces every time you go and will make it easier to introduce yourself over time. Maybe this will lead to socializing outside of class!

5. Hit Up the Apps

Apps do more than connect people who want a romantic relationship. Bumble BFF helps you swipe find friends with people in your area and go on fun friend dates. Nudge is an app that tells you about local events happening that weekend so you can really get to enjoy all the fun things your new city has to offer. Also, utilize Instagram! You can connect with people who have similar interests and have a similar vibe by searching local hashtags as long as you’re not afraid to send a DM. Something as simple as, “hey! I’m new to Austin and came across your picture on Tilly’s page. Do you have any recommendations for coffee shops in the area?”

Getting to feel settled in a new city takes time. Whether you’ve lived there for one month or one year, take a deep breath and don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Does it mean that every person you strike up a conversation with is going to be your new best friend? Probably not! But the worst thing that can happen is you never see that person again (and ok…feel a little silly for about two minutes). I have an internal deal with myself that I’m going to meet up with someone new once a week. It’s only been three weeks but so far I’ve held up this deal and I’m feeling proud of myself and also feeling happier and more comfortable in Austin each week. It is worth it to step outside of your comfort zone now to feel comfortable in the long run. So go and take that new city by storm and remember, you always have me as a virtual girlfriend.