Within the first few months of dating, I had tagged along with Nick to a handful of countries on his work trips. We fell in love over our mutual thirst for travel and connected with each stamp in our passports. As soon as Nick proposed and we started thinking about where in the world we would want to get married, an international venue was without a doubt our dream.

With its rich culture and romantic cobblestone streets, our hearts fell in love with Italy. However, we quickly realized that our dream might not be everyone else’s dream. And after discussions with family and friends, we had to come to terms with the reality that a destination is a really big ask for guests.

Our hearts broken at the idea of choosing between our dream of a destination wedding and our family, we debated what to do for months. Once we let the idea sink in, we realized having two weddings was the best decision for the two of us, and here’s why…

10 Reasons We’re Having Two Weddings

1. We didn’t want to compromise on our dream

   • The number one reason why we chose to have two weddings is a destination wedding was our dream as a couple. And we wanted that memory to look back on when we grew old together.

2. We didn’t want our families to feel left out

   • We knew that for 70% of our family, it wouldn’t be possible for them to fly to Italy due to a multitude of understandable reasons: financial, troubles with taking time off work, age, and a fear of the new societal circumstances due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

3. Our special day will last longer

   • Every bride I’ve spoken to says your wedding day goes by sooo quickly – in the blink of an eye. We are fortunate that we can do two weddings and with that – prolong the celebrations.

4. We can have meaningful moments and quality time with more guests

   • With two weddings, there are more opportunities to spend time with guests. With the Italian reception smaller and more intimate, we can give undivided attention to those who are able to make the trip. Then at our Cleveland reception a month later, we can celebrate with the rest of our family and make individual time for those at this ceremony.

5. We get to bring two different visions to life — twice the décor, twice the planning fun

   • I feel like I have a timeless side and a whimsical side. In the past, I’ve battled with which one I want to express in my future wedding aesthetic. The fun part of planning two weddings is that I get to live out my classic wedding dream and storybook forest vision and give each wedding a different vibe.

6. Guests have a choice 

   • One of the biggest reasons we chose two wedding ceremonies is to make sure our loved ones didn’t feel left out. For the reasons stated earlier, we understand that not everyone will be able to travel to Italy. With a second wedding, guests now have the ability to choose what works best for them – with the option of traveling to Lake Como and making a trip out of our festivities or coming to a more local venue in Ohio and still being able to celebrate!

7. We are able to incorporate more traditions

   • Nick and I are blending two cultures in our nuptials. By having two weddings, we have the opportunity to honor both of our heritages. First, we will celebrate Nick’s Italian Catholic roots at our Lake Como ceremony and then in Cleveland, our ceremony with have Christian Filipino wedding traditions, such as the passing of the coin and presenting of the cord.

8. Future is Uncertain with COVID, having a second ceremony is almost a backup plan

   • I absolutely hate to type these words out, but in our current global state, we just don’t know what the future will look like in terms of travel, quarantining, and public health. Whether COVID-19 is still rampant in 2021 or there is a new reason we are not allowed to travel internationally our backup plan is to just celebrate our Cleveland, Ohio ceremony. Of course, we would be devastated to cancel our dream wedding in Italy but luckily our second ceremony would already be planned and we’d have to just roll with it.

9. We will have two meaningful locations to visit

   • For many people, locations are nostalgic and we’ll have two that hold so much meaning for us. We revisit my hometown so often, and it will be nice to be able to go back to our Cleveland venue when in the area. And in addition, we will have a destination to visit for future big anniversaries or bring our kids for family reunions.

10. People say the second ceremony is more relaxed

    • I just know for our first wedding ceremony I’ll be nervously checking everything goes smoothly – guests enjoying themselves, making it through our vows, taking all of the photos I’ve dreamed of to frame later. When it comes time for the second Cleveland wedding, we’ll already have said our vows. We’ll be calmer, more patient, and be able to truly enjoy the moment more.

Two Weddings FAQ

I asked in my Insta Stories what questions you guys had related to planning two weddings. Here are some that were the most frequently asked!

Q: Which wedding date will be your anniversary?

A: Our first wedding date in Italy on May 29, 2021 will be our anniversary.

 

Q: How will you budget for two weddings?

A: We started by deciding on an overall budget we were comfortable spending in total. We made the decision as a couple to split that in half and allocate 50% to Italy and 50% to Ohio. Each wedding has different major expenses, so have prioritized the finances differently for each. For example, in Italy the venue is the most expensive while in Ohio, the food and head count is the most expensive part. We are being as budget-conscious as possible, staying within the original number we would’ve used on one wedding. And if you guys knew Nick and how tight he is on the purse strings…you would know we are not spending a penny over budget!😂

 

Q: Will you wear different dresses?

A: I’m wearing my wedding dress for the entire Italy wedding (ceremony and reception) and then wearing that same dress down the aisle in Cleveland so that my friends and family will get to have the same moment. But, I may have a little surprise up my sleeve when it comes to the Cleveland reception 😉

 

Q: Do you have any tips for planning two weddings?

A: First and foremost, breathe! Remember your reason for wanting two weddings when things start to seem overwhelming. It will be worth it!

For planning a destination wedding, find your wedding planner first! Make sure it’s someone who is local as they speak the language and have connections with local vendors they trust. They also may have packages to help you find the perfect venue based on what you’re looking for.

Get your venues and dates locked down as soon as you can. Once those two big issues are settled, you’ll be able to breathe more easily and move onto the finer details.

 

Q: I am a maid of honor for a bride with two weddings. Should I make the same speech twice?

A: This is something that needs to be discussed with the bride and what her vision is. I personally am not asking my maid of honor or bridesmaids to attend both, so don’t expect two speeches. If I were you, I would ask the bride what they would prefer! Remember to keep the speech(es) short and sweet and you’ll be fine either way.

 

Q: What are you scaling back on in order to afford both weddings?

A: We decided to cut back on florals for both weddings, since we divided our original budget in two. Also, when normally I would love a live band or live music at both, we decided to instead get a DJ in Italy.

Q: Are you incorporating your Filipino culture?

A: Absolutely! We are incorporating some Filipino touches with:

• A Filipino Food Truck at our Rehearsal Dinner
• Traditions in the ceremony
  • Passing of the coin, which is where coins blessed by the pastor are passed between the couple at the altar to symbolize prosperity
  • Presenting of the cord, which is when the grandparents drape a beaded cord (similar to a rosary) around the couple as they kneel in front of the pastor.
• Filipino dessert at our Ohio reception
  • I love when people’s taste palates are expanded and it was really important to me that our guests have the opportunity to try some Filipino food.  With each slice of wedding, we are going to serve turon, which is a caramelized fried banana.

Q: How did you find a wedding planner?

A: I used WeddingWire.com to find my amazing planners. It’s a great place to find wedding planners with references. Another way I researched planers was searching the hashtag #clevelandweddingplanner and #italyweddingpalnner on Instagram. You may laugh, but many brides who use a wedding planner end up tagging them in photos. So, I was able to message brides in their Instagram Direct Messager (DM) and ask them their unfiltered opinion.

P.s. I’m loving BOTH of our wedding planners SposiamoVi in Italy and Kirkbrides in Cleveland – highly recommend!

 

Q: Who did you invite to each wedding?

A: It’s really difficult to decide on the number of guests for a wedding in general, whether you’re having one or two weddings. We are having 60-80 at our Italy wedding and 200+ attend our Ohio ceremony. We decided to send out invitations in waves to get an idea of who would travel internationally also while keeping our guests limit number in mind. We have no desire to make anyone feel left out or like they are not wanted in Italy, but we need exact numbers for our destination plans and need to be sure those who do RSVP ‘yes’ will actually book when May 2021 arrives.

Wave 1 – family that will be invited to both weddings. There will be three boxes on the invite where they will be able to check if they’re attending Italy, Ohio or both.

Wave 2 – Once we get the exact number of family who are attending each ceremony, we are sending the next wave to friends.

 

Q: What made you choose to have a wedding in Italy?

A: We wanted to pick a destination that was warm and that was meaningful to us. Merging both Nick’s Italian heritage and my love for lakes & water (I grew up wakeboarding in Arkansas & Minnesota in the summers). So, Lake Como felt like the perfect fit for us as a couple.

 

Q: Where did you get your wedding dress from?

A: Kleinfeld Bridal!!! I was lucky enough to film on the TLC tv show Say Yes to the Dress as I picked out my dream dress with my parents and two best friends. I’m so excited for you to share in this moment when it airs on TLC on July 11th at 8pm ET and I can’t believe Kleinfelds made my bridal dreams come true.

 

Q: Are you afraid people won’t be able to travel in 2021?

A: Honest answer is yes, of course! But, there is always those “What If”s that a bride can’t worry about 24/7.  I’m staying optimistic and hoping we will be able to travel and have a vaccine by 2021. But just in case, I have prepared myself with the fact that we may only have our Ohio wedding, and I would still be completely happy with that.

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