Engagement Dos & Don’ts – The 10 things I wish I knew after he put a ring on it! 💍

 

It’s been three months since we’ve gotten engaged and I’m just starting to plan our big day! Many, many people have given me advice on how I should plan my wedding 😂 and I’ve taken it all with a grain of salt. I’ll be honest guys, I was overwhelmed at first by the flood of questions and opinions. I’m finally getting the ball rolling and want to help prepare you if you recently got engaged.

First of all, congratulations if your partner recently proposed — it’s such an exciting time! Take these Do’s and Don’ts with a grain of salt like I did with well-intentioned advice, but this is everything I wish I knew when we first got engaged.

Engagement Dos & Don’ts

The 10 things I wish I knew after he put a ring on it!

Do call your family first. They watched you grow up and will be touched when they get to know first about the happiest moment of your life. Probably wouldn’t be the best to let them find out via social media when you post that ring selfie 💍

Don’t worry about how you look when you get engaged. Be present and enjoy the excitement with your partner. They spent so much time planning and thinking about this special moment, you don’t want to miss it by thinking about how you wish you wore something else or put on that second coat of mascara. It’s not a big deal if you take a picture the next day!

Do take 1-3 months to enjoy being engaged before planning. People will ask you when the date is and where the venue will be, and it’s okay to say you haven’t decided yet. There’s a lot of pressure when people ask those questions and they start asking even an hour after the proposal happens! Take a moment to breathe – this is the time to enjoy this chapter.

Don’t take everyone’s opinions to heart. This is YOUR wedding, not everyone else’s. So, start by thinking about what things are really important to you and don’t compromise on those.

Do discuss budget with your partner. Now that you’re engaged, you’re a team. You both have strengths and will be able to determine together what is worth the money and what is not necessary.

Don’t feel like you have to be a traditional bride. Just because all of your groom’s ancestors got married in this one church in this small town doesn’t mean you have to! The same with the number of bridesmaids or having a maid of honor, there’s no written rule that says you have to have either of those.

Do make parents feel special. They’ve also dreamt about this moment all of their lives and deserve to have some role in the wedding. Both your parents and your partner’s parents would be touched by some quality time. Maybe plan a special wedding dress shopping trip or cake tasting because they want to be a part of the process.

Don’t feel bad if you change your mind. This is the first time you’re planning a wedding, so of course you’re going to have a lot of ideas! Just because you thought one direction would be the best for your day doesn’t mean it’s set in stone. For example, we decided we’d get married in Italy but neither side of our families can travel there, so we had to think of another plan. Now, we decided to have two ceremonies – one in Italy and one in Ohio! We can still have our dream intimate Italian wedding but also celebrate with our loved ones at home.

Do remember you and your partner are in this together. You two get the final decision on what you want for your wedding. It’s okay to not include others in each step of the planning process. Although you should make your parents feel special during parts of the planning, it doesn’t mean they need to give their input for every flower arrangement, color scheme, or seating chart. Set boundaries for what you feel comfortable sharing and lean on each other the rest of the way.

Don’t forget to enjoy the process! You’re only engaged once so wear every sash, go on every trip, and plan every party that you dreamt of. People want to celebrate your love and this time will blow by in the blink of an eye.

Congratulations again on getting engaged!

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