Today I’m turning 29 years old! On the cusp of 30, thought I’d share some of the lessons that I’ve learned over the years that have helped me find inner- happiness. If you have a friend in their 20s looking for direction or maybe one that is in a single stage of life, highly recommend passing this list along for a little inspiration. 🥰

Think my favorites on the list are 10, 24, & 27.

SHOP FEATHERED FAVORITES

December 10th has snuck up on me again and as I turn 29, I wanted to take another moment to pause and reflect, but this time not on what I hope to accomplish – instead on what lessons I’ve learned. I just feel like I’ve grown so much in the last 5 years since I first moved to New York as a single, broke girl on the Upper East Side. I’ll be honest I wasn’t a happy person back then and a lot of that was due to not knowing who I am. So here are my life lessons that have helped me find myself, inner peace, and eventually my partner.

29 Life Lessons On My 29th Birthday

1.You don’t have to have it all figured out.

2. If you do want to start finding your direction, list 3 people you look up or have the job/life you aspire to & write down what you love about their career/life. If you can, take them out to coffee & pick their brain. Mentorship is everything.

3. Find a mentor or mentor yourself by reading Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett

4. Don’t get discouraged by those that don’t understand what you do for a living. It isn’t your job to stay within their box.

5. I am a person that talks through how they feel. It might take time to understand what I’m feeling inside, but it’s important to give yourself that grace & know that it is ok to say the wrong thing & apologize – if it gets you to a place of clarity.

6. It’s ok to change your mind.

7. You are allowed to say, “No.”

8. Put yourself first. (especially in your 20’s) There is no value to overstretching yourself for the sake of others if you are not happy.

9. Sleep is important. Make it a priority.

10. Finding yourself is a mixture of – spending time alone, taking risks if it means you are doing something you are passionate about, making mistakes, and accepting yourself for who you are.

11. I am unique, weird, and different. I have quirks some people don’t understand. But those that matter & that I want to keep in my life will love me and accept me anyway.

12. Moving to New York, I learned it’s a city of misfit toys. I kind of love that if I ever have any insecurities, this city always reminds me that there is always someone weirder, quirkier, or more awkward than me just around the corner & they are confident. You need to give yourself permission to be you.

13. If you ever walk into a room feeling insecure, just pretend that it’s your party & you invited every. Tell yourself, “I am supposed to be here.” It’s my secret to faking it till I make it.

14. Comparison is the killer of joy.

15. If you find yourself comparing or feeling sad when looking at social media then it is not serving its purpose. Unfollow those people & take control of your happiness. Put the phone away for an hour.

16. Only follow those that bring you joy. Instagram should either be a place that inspires you, educates you, or informs you – in a positive way.

17. It’s ok to say, “yes.”

18. If you feel an idea cross your mind, it’s ok to be spontaneous or a risk-taker. Book that flight, call that friend, send those flowers, show up to that play – we have a conscience for a reason, don’t talk yourself out of living life.

19. Life is short.

20. If you live your life with no regrets, you shouldn’t be afraid of death.

21. Make it a priority to explore what you believe in.

22. You don’t have to have the same faith as your parents. I dated a Mormon for 2 years & it taught me to question in my heart what I truly believe. A wonderful learning experience.

23. Some people are meant to be in your life for just one chapter, not the whole book. They were in your life for a reason, so be reflective and always think about what you learned from that relationship & grow from that experience.

24. Stop looking for the love of your life, they are standing right in front of you in the mirror. Get to know them first.

25. When you are single, create a bucket list of everything you want to accomplish before meeting someone. And set a period of time to allow yourself to accomplish all of those things – ex. a year. Be the f*cking best at being single, like it’s a competition. I think it’s the most fun chapter & you’ll have the best stories to tell after!

26. If you are hoping to meet someone be able to answer, “what does love mean to you?”

27. True love to me means having mutual respect for one another, equal desire & effort put forth into dating one another each and every day of your lives (no matter how long you’ve been together), and each of you wakes up each morning thinking, “man, I am the luckiest person in the world.”

28. You will never regret making family a priority or going to see your parents/grandparents.

29. The key to happiness is being grateful.

And when you are sad, stressed, or anxious – drink a tall glass of water & list out everything you are thankful for until you feel better.

 

Wow… even writing all of these down makes me a little emotional, because I wish I could share them with a younger version of myself. I spent so much time worrying about what other people think, trying to change myself to fit in, and searching for love when I didn’t even love myself. Your 20’s are about being selfish and discovering what makes you, you. I’m so grateful for all of my mistakes and don’t regret anything, because it brought me here.

Hope you enjoyed these little life lessons, would love to hear

– which numbers are your favorite?

💛 Think my favorite lessons were 10, 24, & 27 ✨

 

It’s been two years since I’ve written one of these birthday posts. My 27th Birthday Bucket List was my last one and even though that was a more playful moment in time, I’m a little nostalgic looking back at what I wanted to accomplish and can proudly say that I completed at least 14 of the 27 bucket list items.

p.s. If you happen to go back in time and read My 27th Birthday Bucket List, just for fun – thought I’d share which Bucket List items I checked off over the past 2 years:

1.Got a new Manager ✔️

2. Went to Japan with Nick in August 2019 ✔️

3. Tried the Squatty Potty at Nick’s sister’s house ✔️

5. Read the first Crazy Rich Asians book ✔️

6. Went camping on Governor’s Island ✔️

7. Got better health insurance, on Nick’s after getting a domestic partnership together ✔️

10. Had a good 2019 summer of non-stop Barry’s ✔️

11. Played in a Turkey Bowl with Nick’s fam last Thanksgiving – I sucked 😆 ✔️

12. Surprised Nick with a trip to Vegas for his 28th Birthday ✔️

18. Blog posts out every other week ✔️

22. Been better about saying, “yes” and going out – but I just come home early (this was pre-covid of course)  ✔️

23. Been a lot better at respecting his boundaries on social media, all about communication ✔️

25. Habits of neatness – hang up coat and put away shoes right away – do this on the daily ✔️

27. Feel like I do “Random Texts of Kindness” to loved ones once a week ✔️

Do you enjoy making lists too? Would love to hear some of your favorite Life Bucket List items you’ve checked off!

photography: Carter Fish